The Death of Paul

The FIFA 2010 World Cup is over, and the clubs desperate chase for the best players has already begun. Time for that record-shattering deal is not very far. It is that emotional time to see the reigning stars bid adieu and handover the throne to newcomers—little-known players just 30 days before—to rule for the next four years. Many star players who came to blast the dream tournament with mighty dreams returned home with dreams only. This World Cup witnessed for the first time in its history that the off-field players rocked the tournament more than the on-field players. It was Diego Maradona, the God of soccer fans all around the world, who ruled the tournament till the quarter finals. Blame Maradona for always being famous both in short and long pants, off and on field. Believe it or not, people glued on television to get the glimpse of this little man. Then entered the little-known little Paul like a thunderstorm, and the mighty little Maradona’s life cut shockingly short with his arrival. Questions erupted how the entry of the never-heard-before player marked the exit of the legend. It happens in sports—new heroes are born and records are broken. Every World Cup has some surprises and heartbreaks. Above all, Maradona is no match for Paul, simply because he has only two legs while Paul has eight legs.

Rise and Fall

Paul, the beautiful eight-legged oracle octopus residing in German aquarium, has become the sensation of the tournament after he correctly predicted the result of all seven games of Germany, as well as the finals between Spain and the Netherlands. He shot to international fame after he correctly predicted Germany win over Argentina in the quarterfinals. Then onward, the attention of the whole world shifted to the real hero of the tournament. He defeated his competitor Mani, a Singapore-based oracle parrot, who came at the tournament in the late stage and hanged him upside down on the goal post. Neither Messi nor Ronaldo got so much media coverage as Paul did. It was Paul and only Paul who made headlines of both newspapers and TV news channels when the tournament entered the crucial stage. Paul remained the true patriot and national hero of Germany until he picked up Spain over Germany in the semi final. All of a sudden, the national hero turned enemy of the state, and celebrated oracle octopus became psychic octopus. It is not uncommon that friends turn foes, patriots turn traitors, and friends turn lovers. From that moment, all those Germans who sang praise choruses for Paul have been busy tweeting the recipe of octopus. The whole world was in shock and awe when Paul appeared in the hit list of Hitler. Today, Twitter is flooded with Paul. Most of them are from Germany, the Netherlands, and Argentina. All these three countries are desperately pursuing Paul for the same mission—KILL PAUL. Germany wants to fry Paul, Argentina wants to beat him till death, and the Netherlands wants to hang him. Now comes the rescuer. The enemy of a country is a patriot for another country. No sooner had Paul become the Enemy No. 1 of Germany than he became the celebrated hero of Spain. Pressurized by its citizens, the government of Spain is pursuing to bring Paul in Spain and give the hero Spanish citizenship and re-christen him as Pablo. Having rejected its demands by Germany, Spain is now all set to send security guards to protect Paul in Germany. Also, they are seeking legal aids from the UN International Court of Justice (ICJ) to bring the hero home. ICJ is not very cooperative with Spain as the Netherlands, where it is headquartered, is also pressurizing it to bring Paul there. Now, if Spain succeeds, Paul will get everything—love, protection, and fame—in the new land for the next 4 years until he picks up some other nation over Spain in the 2014 World Cup.

In India

Imagine the great Paul lands in our country. Can you even imagine how much media coverage he will get? If he thinks all the media coverage he will get is temporary, then Paul, you are underestimating the power of Indian media. Since cricket tournaments are held 365 days in a year both in and outside India, and India participates all the tournament, you will always stay at the headlines of both newspapers and news channels. Apart from cricket, you can put your hand in Bollywood also. Because of the absence of good soothsayer, most big budget movies bomb at the box office. You will be a big help for big producers and directors who make ambitious projects but end up making big flops and run heavy losses. A wise lady said that if she has Paul, she will gift it to the MET Department of India to provide correct weather forecasts. I think it is a very wise idea, particularly during the monsoon season when the MET Department officials are tired of coin flipping to predict weather.

The Hero Takes Retirement

Now, it’s official that Paul will take retirement. He said this in the award function where he was facilitated the Champion trophy and the Diamond Boot of the Year for being the most sensational player of the tournament. It was a very bleak and emotional moment for billions of people who glue on television watching their favourite star. Now, Paul will go back to his previous profession—playing with his handlers and children who visit him. Spain won the World Cup, but all the credits go to Paul. Kudos to Paul! You rocked the Cup of the World.