When things are so conspicuous, it becomes a hologram.
We have been playing this game for years.
Both know what the truth is,
But neither I had the strength to disclose it nor you are ready to recognize it.
You only began the game by just coming into my life.
Then, it was me who invented various techniques of the game.
Playing in the different tunes of the heart for the heart,
Somewhere, what the heart yearns for has become a departed soul.
You know only how to come but not leaving,
As you only know how to cast love but not acknowledging it.
I went up to the farthest distance of torture and grief.
I spent many nights playing with tears and dreaming.
My world has been rotating in your universe.
But it is just a part of the universe, and you have others to worry.
You never know how hard my heart was broken,
When I concealed my feelings when you asked me to tell the truth.
You never know how hard my heart was broken,
When I could not say "It's you", even when you insisted.
You never stop by to see my grief.
Why will you do it when I am the only one responsible?
My confidence was so high of our union,
I even did not dare to think that you will even once come into my life.
It was just a true one-sided love of an abnormal lover.
Death is unpredictable but certain,
But love is both unpredictable and uncertain.
Sometimes, the sun rises from the west when it is cloudy in the east.
Finally, there is a confession,
A thing that we mutually agreed to keep in secret for long.
Finally, there is a confession of a mutual feeling.
Finally, there is a confession of a mistrust mind to an insensitive heart.
How could I know both of us are pursuing the same goal?
The wait is over, and the confession is done.
We are ready to play our part,
And rewrite the history of love.
But understandably, the script was written already.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
The Death
Why does the fear of death always hound me?
Each day, more and more blankets of darkness cover my life,
But, it never blocks my mind to forget time is running out fast.
Suddenly, mind wakes up shedding all fears and constraints.
Strong soul backfired pains and betrayals,
And riding high for the love ones.
Every moment is a big challenge between life and destiny.
Though discriminated and weakened, it always strikes back,
Though alienated and illusioned, it always returns to sense.
May the destiny controls my goals but never destroys my tryst,
Until this ultimatum conquers my mind.
Once it rings its bells, the mind that shakes everything is shaken.
Do I do the justice by fighting too much with the destiny?
Is it fair to torture this tired body and mind?
What victory will I boast for defeating the destiny?
Everything will be taken away by this monster.
The unwavering mind wanes hearing his name.
Even the destiny who has another plan for my every will has no
Another plan for this monster.
He is also very kind to me as to others for this Guest.
He makes mockery of my love, struggle, and trust;
Making them just an illusion.
What will the reputation and wealth do after death?
I want them when I am alive.
I don't live to be remembered; I live to remember.
Why living when love ones are gone?
What will be left after death for which I can be proud of?
Destiny, you are just nothing!
I can face you but not Mr. Death.
It just shakes my life and shanks my will power below zero degree.
His power is so strong that even this short-living is made nonliving.
When everybody knows that they can't live more than hundred years,
Uncertainty and darkness prevail everywhere.
You just come and take everything along with you whenever you like.
The fear of untimely death darkens every ray of hope.
What do you think of yourself, you idiot?
Can't you even be little good to let us live our guaranteed years in peace.
Are our souls so cheap?
Is this the way you rule the world?
Who will spend sleepless night if they fear that they may die tomorrow?
I need time to achieve something
But you make blur of it,
And unleash unending fears and darkness.
Why don't you knot with destiny, and leave humans in peace,
There are other living beings in other planets also,
Who are far knowledgeable and powerful.
You are no longer welcome as it was always before.
Please leave us alone.
Free our live from the game of dice.
Please allow us to live for what we perspire.
Each day, more and more blankets of darkness cover my life,
But, it never blocks my mind to forget time is running out fast.
Suddenly, mind wakes up shedding all fears and constraints.
Strong soul backfired pains and betrayals,
And riding high for the love ones.
Every moment is a big challenge between life and destiny.
Though discriminated and weakened, it always strikes back,
Though alienated and illusioned, it always returns to sense.
May the destiny controls my goals but never destroys my tryst,
Until this ultimatum conquers my mind.
Once it rings its bells, the mind that shakes everything is shaken.
Do I do the justice by fighting too much with the destiny?
Is it fair to torture this tired body and mind?
What victory will I boast for defeating the destiny?
Everything will be taken away by this monster.
The unwavering mind wanes hearing his name.
Even the destiny who has another plan for my every will has no
Another plan for this monster.
He is also very kind to me as to others for this Guest.
He makes mockery of my love, struggle, and trust;
Making them just an illusion.
What will the reputation and wealth do after death?
I want them when I am alive.
I don't live to be remembered; I live to remember.
Why living when love ones are gone?
What will be left after death for which I can be proud of?
Destiny, you are just nothing!
I can face you but not Mr. Death.
It just shakes my life and shanks my will power below zero degree.
His power is so strong that even this short-living is made nonliving.
When everybody knows that they can't live more than hundred years,
Uncertainty and darkness prevail everywhere.
You just come and take everything along with you whenever you like.
The fear of untimely death darkens every ray of hope.
What do you think of yourself, you idiot?
Can't you even be little good to let us live our guaranteed years in peace.
Are our souls so cheap?
Is this the way you rule the world?
Who will spend sleepless night if they fear that they may die tomorrow?
I need time to achieve something
But you make blur of it,
And unleash unending fears and darkness.
Why don't you knot with destiny, and leave humans in peace,
There are other living beings in other planets also,
Who are far knowledgeable and powerful.
You are no longer welcome as it was always before.
Please leave us alone.
Free our live from the game of dice.
Please allow us to live for what we perspire.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Valentine’s Day
Life was not beautiful but full of dreams.
Happiness was all around
And there were new buds in every stem.
All pains were vaccinated by new love,
Sorrows renewed by new hopes.
Somewhere, slowly but surely, life started compensated from long misery.
Spring has set its foot eventually after a long break.
In the peak of spring, When everything was blooming, glowing and shining,
A new stem developed from nowhere in my heart.
The proud owner of the full bloom rose seemed more interested at the new bud.
Where there is happiness at one side,
Equally, there is dream at the other side.
The season collided with Valentine’s Day.
If not in spring, when will the beautiful things come?
The yet to bloom bud whispered at me
“Happy Valentine’s Day!
Though this is nothing to us,
There are many people celebrating this day,
Thinking as a special day”
I suddenly started paying attention to her.
All of a sudden, spring disappeared abruptly from the garden.
The cloud of betrayal and pretension darkened my garden.
Even the new bud started feeling reluctant to bloom in my garden.
How will she shine proudly in the garden of darkness and shame?
When I had moved out too far to return, she always found time to go back.
Exactly after one year, I whispered the same note to her
“Happy Valentine’s Day!
Though this is nothing to us,
There are many people celebrating this day,
Thinking as a special day.”
Where intolerance is there, memory is so short.
She has forgotten the sweet note that she whispered at me.
Words bridged two hearts when they feel for each other,
The same words infringe somebody’s modesty when the feeling is not reciprocated.
The same words she said become an insult to her when she can’t remember it.
Even believing becomes forceful that her head was resting on my shoulder,
And her tender hand on my lap.
The moment of complete silence and departure of mind from thinking anything,
It was the moment when only two persons lived in this earth.
Even the white doves are not as sweet as we were.
No distance can take away that memory far.
Neither time nor betrayal can dwindle that sweet moment.
The shortest moment was powerful enough to last for a lifetime.
When there was love, infatuation makes everything sweet,
Where there is intolerance, everything turns bitter.
It is hard to imagine that how relationships change when darkness falls.
When her words changed from worrying “Are you ok?”
To callous “What is the problem with you?”
That marked the sunset of our relationship.
It takes only four months to change a season,
Somewhere I have forgotten that it is one year from one Valentine’s Day to the next Valentine’s Day.
Then why do I wonder when I saw a change in her.
A meeting for two moment, and eternity of memories.
The head that once rested on my shoulder and face that shone on my eye,
Reincarnates into memory that rests forever in the heart.
But somewhere, the owner forgot her words,
And the return of the lost treasure doesn’t incite her.
I wish she could remember what she had said.
Happiness was all around
And there were new buds in every stem.
All pains were vaccinated by new love,
Sorrows renewed by new hopes.
Somewhere, slowly but surely, life started compensated from long misery.
Spring has set its foot eventually after a long break.
In the peak of spring, When everything was blooming, glowing and shining,
A new stem developed from nowhere in my heart.
The proud owner of the full bloom rose seemed more interested at the new bud.
Where there is happiness at one side,
Equally, there is dream at the other side.
The season collided with Valentine’s Day.
If not in spring, when will the beautiful things come?
The yet to bloom bud whispered at me
“Happy Valentine’s Day!
Though this is nothing to us,
There are many people celebrating this day,
Thinking as a special day”
I suddenly started paying attention to her.
All of a sudden, spring disappeared abruptly from the garden.
The cloud of betrayal and pretension darkened my garden.
Even the new bud started feeling reluctant to bloom in my garden.
How will she shine proudly in the garden of darkness and shame?
When I had moved out too far to return, she always found time to go back.
Exactly after one year, I whispered the same note to her
“Happy Valentine’s Day!
Though this is nothing to us,
There are many people celebrating this day,
Thinking as a special day.”
Where intolerance is there, memory is so short.
She has forgotten the sweet note that she whispered at me.
Words bridged two hearts when they feel for each other,
The same words infringe somebody’s modesty when the feeling is not reciprocated.
The same words she said become an insult to her when she can’t remember it.
Even believing becomes forceful that her head was resting on my shoulder,
And her tender hand on my lap.
The moment of complete silence and departure of mind from thinking anything,
It was the moment when only two persons lived in this earth.
Even the white doves are not as sweet as we were.
No distance can take away that memory far.
Neither time nor betrayal can dwindle that sweet moment.
The shortest moment was powerful enough to last for a lifetime.
When there was love, infatuation makes everything sweet,
Where there is intolerance, everything turns bitter.
It is hard to imagine that how relationships change when darkness falls.
When her words changed from worrying “Are you ok?”
To callous “What is the problem with you?”
That marked the sunset of our relationship.
It takes only four months to change a season,
Somewhere I have forgotten that it is one year from one Valentine’s Day to the next Valentine’s Day.
Then why do I wonder when I saw a change in her.
A meeting for two moment, and eternity of memories.
The head that once rested on my shoulder and face that shone on my eye,
Reincarnates into memory that rests forever in the heart.
But somewhere, the owner forgot her words,
And the return of the lost treasure doesn’t incite her.
I wish she could remember what she had said.
Friday, February 1, 2008
The Wish
Days and years passed by since we met and parted;
But the ordeal continues and the destiny is leading.
Many sleepless nights have gone.
Countless moments of agony and pain disappeared without a trace.
But the perennial tears still water every new pain and distress.
The thought of incessant love for you always troubles me;
But the belief that I won’t get you ever consoles me.
The pain why I can’t let you know always haunts me,
But weakness has found an excuse in destiny.
My inside always asks me why I don’t get you.
Sometimes, a question does not have any answer, only reality prevails.
For everything, I never repent for the hunger of the heart.
Thinking of you is enough to feed me for each day.
Remembering you is all that makes me feel alive.
There are laughter and hopes when dreaming of you.
But a stream of tears overflows from reality when wake up.
I want to think of you as much as I can until it explodes my brain.
It is my source of reconciling the trials of destiny and attaining nirvana.
Nothing is more peaceful than to die for the loved one.
There is only “I Wish” for everything I want in our love.
But the thought of living and thinking in you always consoles me.
Sometimes, I think to ask you what I should be to get you,
But the thought that the union of minds overpowers the unison of bodies consoles me.
Every wait has an end,
But there are only eternal dreaming and perennial tears in my love.
Still, I don’t have any remorse as all I want is to drug my every nerve with your thought,
Where I could see you smiling and hold my hand every moment.
And touch my lips when tears roll down from my eyes.
All I wish is to see you shedding a tear drop on my face when I die.
It will extinguish the thousand fires of hell,
And keep me from thirst in the day long work there.
My heart only seeks for renouncing the world on some beautiful day,
To start a long voyage in the ocean of your eternal love until it submerges forever.
As usual, destiny has the other plan even for my silent and unexpressed love also.
He restricts the freedom to think and weep for you.
When I like to bid adieu to everyone, I have many to look after.
When I want to dig my grave in your heart,
Somebody is dying for me openly.
My hopes and thinking are clipped everywhere.
But for everything, I don’t repent.
Because if there is anything in my empty brain, it is your thought.
My dark life is always bright inside your thought.
Your remembrance always accompanies me in hell and heaven.
But the ordeal continues and the destiny is leading.
Many sleepless nights have gone.
Countless moments of agony and pain disappeared without a trace.
But the perennial tears still water every new pain and distress.
The thought of incessant love for you always troubles me;
But the belief that I won’t get you ever consoles me.
The pain why I can’t let you know always haunts me,
But weakness has found an excuse in destiny.
My inside always asks me why I don’t get you.
Sometimes, a question does not have any answer, only reality prevails.
For everything, I never repent for the hunger of the heart.
Thinking of you is enough to feed me for each day.
Remembering you is all that makes me feel alive.
There are laughter and hopes when dreaming of you.
But a stream of tears overflows from reality when wake up.
I want to think of you as much as I can until it explodes my brain.
It is my source of reconciling the trials of destiny and attaining nirvana.
Nothing is more peaceful than to die for the loved one.
There is only “I Wish” for everything I want in our love.
But the thought of living and thinking in you always consoles me.
Sometimes, I think to ask you what I should be to get you,
But the thought that the union of minds overpowers the unison of bodies consoles me.
Every wait has an end,
But there are only eternal dreaming and perennial tears in my love.
Still, I don’t have any remorse as all I want is to drug my every nerve with your thought,
Where I could see you smiling and hold my hand every moment.
And touch my lips when tears roll down from my eyes.
All I wish is to see you shedding a tear drop on my face when I die.
It will extinguish the thousand fires of hell,
And keep me from thirst in the day long work there.
My heart only seeks for renouncing the world on some beautiful day,
To start a long voyage in the ocean of your eternal love until it submerges forever.
As usual, destiny has the other plan even for my silent and unexpressed love also.
He restricts the freedom to think and weep for you.
When I like to bid adieu to everyone, I have many to look after.
When I want to dig my grave in your heart,
Somebody is dying for me openly.
My hopes and thinking are clipped everywhere.
But for everything, I don’t repent.
Because if there is anything in my empty brain, it is your thought.
My dark life is always bright inside your thought.
Your remembrance always accompanies me in hell and heaven.
A bunch of sweet mistakes in life
I have come to this earth.
A mistake!
To experience hard childhood and poverty.
The joy of the happy family was curtained just after the trailer,
And left to suffer the bliss of broken family at the right time of life.
The more I knew about others, the more mixed feelings I endured.
The more I opened my eyes, the more hardships I saw.
Experienced the life of homeless at the unwelcome place in the early life.
I went to school.
A mistake!
Perpetual tears on my little eyes and headache for mama for tuition fees and clothing.
Failure in exam, and swelling hands for being the constant companion of teachers’ cane.
Gifted shame and tears to mama for the sacrifice of her hard-earned money before others.
I had determined to become a good student.
A mistake!
Brought a moment of happiness to my parents for regaining the lost hopes.
A part for the pursuit of reputation and setting big goal in life,
And poverty was given the backstage.
Soon, many sleepless nights and tears in hostel,
And many nights without dinner at home followed.
I had grown up and fallen in love.
A mistake!
A moment of caring for none and ruling the world.
Got inspirations and enjoyed overflows of water for the desert river.
A companion to give strength for the hungry night, and smile for tears.
I never realized one day I had to pay a heavy price of my poverty.
Her hundred promises and my immortal love died suddenly in one betrayal.
Trust for love dried up somewhere in the valley of disgusts and betrayals.
I got a job.
A welcoming mistake!
There were no more nights that passed away without dinner.
A long era of window shopping had gone by.
Where there was enough food and rest at one side,
Stress and dissatisfaction of work stabbed me all the time.
When I touched the stars, the heart cried for the moon.
I was falling in love again.
A mistake!
The long drought was lover.
The lost faith redeemed again and the cuts of betrayals healed.
The happiness and trust that lost five years back were back.
But the joy did not last for long.
When you thought you can’t live without somebody, she would be taken away for sure.
When I was lonely, an eternal loneliness prevailed,
With perfect serenity and zero interference from anybody.
When I found my savior, another savior appeared.
Both equally strong, and my heart was floating in between.
Each day, when my heart slowly submerged to the nearer,
Equal amount of pain and tears was shedding for the distant one.
The more I got closer to the other,
My heart was resting more for the departed.
Cutting the heart into two equal pieces, and mourned for the unseen every moment.
I got married.
A mistake!
I was an actor, a masquerader playing different roles.
Playing a faithful husband for the faithful wife at one scene,
And a heartbroken, melancholic lover at the other part.
Smiled during the day with tearful eyes followed in the night.
Everything was bright and beautiful until dark.
Unfaithful mind was taking shelter behind the curtain of smiling face.
Paying every moment the price for marrying somebody while loving someone else.
I am dying.
A big mistake!
He has already written new plots and the actor is dying.
Plots will not be wasted; another actor will be chosen.
Living in separation from the heart without any reflection of gloom was the most difficult role.
I want to be a legend of this play, and won’t like handover the bastion to someone.
No one should play this role any further.
But the script has written and the old actor is dying.
Someone has to be chosen to succeed me.
A mistake!
To experience hard childhood and poverty.
The joy of the happy family was curtained just after the trailer,
And left to suffer the bliss of broken family at the right time of life.
The more I knew about others, the more mixed feelings I endured.
The more I opened my eyes, the more hardships I saw.
Experienced the life of homeless at the unwelcome place in the early life.
I went to school.
A mistake!
Perpetual tears on my little eyes and headache for mama for tuition fees and clothing.
Failure in exam, and swelling hands for being the constant companion of teachers’ cane.
Gifted shame and tears to mama for the sacrifice of her hard-earned money before others.
I had determined to become a good student.
A mistake!
Brought a moment of happiness to my parents for regaining the lost hopes.
A part for the pursuit of reputation and setting big goal in life,
And poverty was given the backstage.
Soon, many sleepless nights and tears in hostel,
And many nights without dinner at home followed.
I had grown up and fallen in love.
A mistake!
A moment of caring for none and ruling the world.
Got inspirations and enjoyed overflows of water for the desert river.
A companion to give strength for the hungry night, and smile for tears.
I never realized one day I had to pay a heavy price of my poverty.
Her hundred promises and my immortal love died suddenly in one betrayal.
Trust for love dried up somewhere in the valley of disgusts and betrayals.
I got a job.
A welcoming mistake!
There were no more nights that passed away without dinner.
A long era of window shopping had gone by.
Where there was enough food and rest at one side,
Stress and dissatisfaction of work stabbed me all the time.
When I touched the stars, the heart cried for the moon.
I was falling in love again.
A mistake!
The long drought was lover.
The lost faith redeemed again and the cuts of betrayals healed.
The happiness and trust that lost five years back were back.
But the joy did not last for long.
When you thought you can’t live without somebody, she would be taken away for sure.
When I was lonely, an eternal loneliness prevailed,
With perfect serenity and zero interference from anybody.
When I found my savior, another savior appeared.
Both equally strong, and my heart was floating in between.
Each day, when my heart slowly submerged to the nearer,
Equal amount of pain and tears was shedding for the distant one.
The more I got closer to the other,
My heart was resting more for the departed.
Cutting the heart into two equal pieces, and mourned for the unseen every moment.
I got married.
A mistake!
I was an actor, a masquerader playing different roles.
Playing a faithful husband for the faithful wife at one scene,
And a heartbroken, melancholic lover at the other part.
Smiled during the day with tearful eyes followed in the night.
Everything was bright and beautiful until dark.
Unfaithful mind was taking shelter behind the curtain of smiling face.
Paying every moment the price for marrying somebody while loving someone else.
I am dying.
A big mistake!
He has already written new plots and the actor is dying.
Plots will not be wasted; another actor will be chosen.
Living in separation from the heart without any reflection of gloom was the most difficult role.
I want to be a legend of this play, and won’t like handover the bastion to someone.
No one should play this role any further.
But the script has written and the old actor is dying.
Someone has to be chosen to succeed me.
Departure
Both cyclone and hurricane are blowing at the full speed.
The forces are too strong to bear.
And I am flying all around the places I desire,
Until I remember a thread holds the kite.
Earlier I lied to others,
But today, I lie to my heart for the first time.
It’s not easy to lie to own heart as to others.
But I can’t hide the truth.
You can let me forget who I am.
Many great battles ended only in planning.
A revolt that started in the gloomy sunshine ends to a gloomy sunset.
Everything will end as illusions like others.
We are two kites parting from each other.
Flew away to each end line of the two worlds.
No more rapture in ears for the others.
But the sound of the old words fills the emptiness of my soul,
And your smile won’t dwindle.
Only the heart knows.
The forces are too strong to bear.
And I am flying all around the places I desire,
Until I remember a thread holds the kite.
Earlier I lied to others,
But today, I lie to my heart for the first time.
It’s not easy to lie to own heart as to others.
But I can’t hide the truth.
You can let me forget who I am.
Many great battles ended only in planning.
A revolt that started in the gloomy sunshine ends to a gloomy sunset.
Everything will end as illusions like others.
We are two kites parting from each other.
Flew away to each end line of the two worlds.
No more rapture in ears for the others.
But the sound of the old words fills the emptiness of my soul,
And your smile won’t dwindle.
Only the heart knows.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
True Love
Somewhere, in the journey and evolution of life and mind,
True love is in the verge of extinction.
Cheap and temporal love has taken the place of true love.
A miniature passion and lust for a moment is what people consider love.
Our mind and heart can be lured by any blinking things.
Desire, selfish and possessive nature are the new version of sacrifice.
Eternal soul is given a backseat against the transitory physical body."True love is the source of feeling alive.You may be the victim of His jealously. His ordeal starts just from the onset of your divine feelings for her.It's all about happiness and no bad feelings in life.It's all about smiling amidst sorrows and tears amidst happiness.It's all about remembering somebody until the last breath.It's all about thanking somebody for coming in life for whatever the consequence and wherever she is"
True love is in the verge of extinction.
Cheap and temporal love has taken the place of true love.
A miniature passion and lust for a moment is what people consider love.
Our mind and heart can be lured by any blinking things.
Desire, selfish and possessive nature are the new version of sacrifice.
Eternal soul is given a backseat against the transitory physical body."True love is the source of feeling alive.You may be the victim of His jealously. His ordeal starts just from the onset of your divine feelings for her.It's all about happiness and no bad feelings in life.It's all about smiling amidst sorrows and tears amidst happiness.It's all about remembering somebody until the last breath.It's all about thanking somebody for coming in life for whatever the consequence and wherever she is"
Friday, January 18, 2008
Ray
The sun rises and sets,
It rises again the next day and will set like yesterday.
But each day brings a new light.
A new light that guides everyone through darkness.
However, the new light doesn’t bring a new hope to a fanatic like me.
It neither gives aspiration nor warmth and comfort.
All lights are not light.
All rays are not rays.
Some shines in eyes, and some in hearts.
I live in the memory of the one that shone in my heart once.
My heart rests in the brightness of the old ray.
She came and shone for a while, bringing brightness and hope in my life.
A moment of brightness and an eternity of darkness,
But beautiful enough to endure the darkness for the rest of the life!
It rises again the next day and will set like yesterday.
But each day brings a new light.
A new light that guides everyone through darkness.
However, the new light doesn’t bring a new hope to a fanatic like me.
It neither gives aspiration nor warmth and comfort.
All lights are not light.
All rays are not rays.
Some shines in eyes, and some in hearts.
I live in the memory of the one that shone in my heart once.
My heart rests in the brightness of the old ray.
She came and shone for a while, bringing brightness and hope in my life.
A moment of brightness and an eternity of darkness,
But beautiful enough to endure the darkness for the rest of the life!
The Bright Darkness of Life
Life is a puzzle of brightness and darkness.
When some are in agony to buy fortunes
Others can’t think beyond to have some bread on the table.
Some are unleashing terror, some advocating peace.
Some are enjoying the warmth inside, some fighting the rude cold weather outside.
When some are the victims of callous fate,
Some are plotting their own misfortune.
In between, some are waiting their turn reluctantly.
Every moment is a fear of untimely dear soul departure.
Even the little leftover life is not permitted to breathe freely,
Since the mind is eclipsed by sudden yet unwelcome messenger.
Some are working less and unequally fortunate.
Some are working hard and equally unfortunate.
Somewhere, life started envying the dogs running on the streets.
The fastidious dressed-up man weeps, seeing the smile of the roadside beggars.
Where there is nothing, there is peace and serenity.
Good friends end up as foes.
There is conspiracy only to the wrong target.
An ocean is always there where there should not even be a stream.
The destination of true lovers is always departure.
Inside every rainbow, there are dust particles.
And the dirty mud has diamond deep inside.
Brightness is just a hologram.
It is the darkness which is so strong and real that it can be seen.
We are living either in this darkness or in its the bright reflection.
When some are in agony to buy fortunes
Others can’t think beyond to have some bread on the table.
Some are unleashing terror, some advocating peace.
Some are enjoying the warmth inside, some fighting the rude cold weather outside.
When some are the victims of callous fate,
Some are plotting their own misfortune.
In between, some are waiting their turn reluctantly.
Every moment is a fear of untimely dear soul departure.
Even the little leftover life is not permitted to breathe freely,
Since the mind is eclipsed by sudden yet unwelcome messenger.
Some are working less and unequally fortunate.
Some are working hard and equally unfortunate.
Somewhere, life started envying the dogs running on the streets.
The fastidious dressed-up man weeps, seeing the smile of the roadside beggars.
Where there is nothing, there is peace and serenity.
Good friends end up as foes.
There is conspiracy only to the wrong target.
An ocean is always there where there should not even be a stream.
The destination of true lovers is always departure.
Inside every rainbow, there are dust particles.
And the dirty mud has diamond deep inside.
Brightness is just a hologram.
It is the darkness which is so strong and real that it can be seen.
We are living either in this darkness or in its the bright reflection.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
The dark Ray
Had I known what was waiting ahead, I would have stopped myself very often in the journey of life. But I don’t regret it because how I could discover the treasured experiences and things, like the dark ray, that surprise my life now and then, and helps me feel alive. Brightness itself is darkness in reality. Before we know the truth, we think it is bright, and brings color and brightness to guide us. But as everything, it comes and every hope is dissolved in the core of its darkness. The real color shows up to pay the price of those who keep faith on it.
I was a happy-go-easy boy armored by lively hopes and many things that I wanted though I had nothing. Every pain and tear was temporary and I never bothered them since I had them to be consoled. Life was really beautiful. How could I see through the ugliness of life when I was always happy? Hardly anyone cares for other, as I care for none. In fact, it was the time I didn’t even care for myself. It is true people tend to forget everything in happiness which itself is a state of emptiness where we can feel nothing. It was perhaps the time I was boasting about my love. When anybody has a beautiful and committed lover like mine, their state of happiness extended outside naturally which others falsely consider as boasting. It was when Susan told me, “Everybody comes across love at some or the other point of their life. It is not only you who experiences it,” I suddenly realized that I had exceeded and caused irritation to others. But I didn’t regret since she was nothing unnatural, and misunderstanding is the most precious gift to human beings which they flaunt from time to time. She could not feel what was inside me. Thus, her remarks submerged without making any ripples. I neither felt apologetic nor regretted since she did not occupy any important place in my heart. To me, it is heart and only the heart that matters. Only the emotions engulfed from the heart guide my life.
Life itself is a bunch of riddles and uncertain mental adventures. To somebody, you give attention you ever could though you are just a stranger to them. To some, you always try to get closer when your presence is neither recognized nor appreciated. Welcome is an indecent word to use here. Everything is happening around her; only she does not feel any. Such things had happened to me also. There were times when Susan was rather elated being with my company. She, sometimes, did not go for lunch along with her friends but instead stayed behind to give me a company. On the very first day of our meeting, I could see the excitement in her eyes when she was with me. Thanks to my ability to read other’s eyes. Sometimes, I warned myself for being an expert in reading eyes. I hate it because it discloses everything somebody values so much in their heart. I fear that someday, it will put me in real trouble. Though I was drowning in the thought of somebody, leaving no room for Susan to encroach beyond friendship, it will be unfair if I don’t concede that I also started liking her company. Call it a coincidence in life or the plan of destiny; I fell in love only with beautiful girls. May be I was so much drown with my love or partly because of not-so-beautiful looks of Susan, there were never mental conflicts and sleep-lost nights.
Time passed by, and our friendship or relationship blossomed or developed. I started learning new lessons of nature. I never thought that my meeting with Susan during that one-month long seminar will teach me a life-long lesson. I suddenly discover that all the charming beauties of the spring season were once remained dry and dead in winter. When spring comes, everything becomes beautiful. Who could believe that the delicate roses were only thorns before they steal beholders’ hearts? Sometimes, somewhere I started missing her. I fear that I developed an infatuation for Susan. But, I believe in my self-control ability. Time has taken a U-turn, partly because of my impatience. I had started waiting her instead of she waited for me. It might be because I came out earlier than the time she came out to wait for you. It takes 365 days for the Earth to revolve around the Sun. May be I valued my time so much that things started suddenly as one month was all we had at hand. But when things started, twenty days were gone already. Somewhere in this uncertain and dark journey of life, I realized that I had developed a strange feeling for Susan. One day, I looked at her eyes to see again the excitement reflected in her eyes on our first meeting or during those new days in our life. Everything has its own time and they just follow when their turns come. Who can get away from the cycle of the nature? When there is spring here, unfortunately there is autumn also somewhere. That day, I found a difference in her eyes. Her eyes were really beautiful but the beauty had replaced their excitement that I saw last time. But the beauty of a thing is appreciated only by the beholders, and the thing has nothing to with them. Who could imagine that there will be a sudden onset of autumn in the middle of the spring? It was possible, possibly because, things were happening at such a fast pace that even the God of nature could not see the disorder in the cycles of nature. That day, my fear is over and my mastery of eyes reading paid off. When somebody realizes that he develops an infatuation of somebody, there is always a problem arising somewhere. But, I don’t condemn this because I always consider nothing can be as precious as love, and it is never easy to achieve it. As time passed by with various thoughts, I realized that all I had at hand was only one week. After that, our one month conference will be over. I wish I could hold time. By then, I had completely lost my identity- Who was I? Where did I belong?
That night was over last day together. Early next morning, everybody will return to their home. As usual, Susan and I came to sit in the garden after dinner. Once I had developed love of her, each evening we sat on the garden meant a lot to me. But that day, it was more valuable and I am sure she could see through what was in my heart if she were good or least good at reading eyes like me. That day, with one last hope to see that excitement in her eyes, I looked at her again. To my surprise, there were in front of me. I saw the same excitement that I saw on the first day, but I could also see emotions in her eyes at that starry night. It might be because she also knew, as I did, that we will not meet again. Everybody develops emotions when they are leaving somebody for long, so if they leave somebody forever, definitely even for the person who does not mean anything to them will generate some emotions if they are not just strangers. That night, she listened to my story very anxiously. I didn’t know why I told the story of my hard childhood, broken love, and misfortunes to her. Was she listening anxiously like that since it was a sad story? “In life, we don’t get everything that we like. So, it is best to let this life take us wherever it wants to brings us,” Susan said after listening to my story. It was her last word I heard. I don’t like the idea to surrender my life to somebody like this, especially it makes very hard to a person like me who does not believe in reincarnation. But when for everything I do, destiny has the other plan, I finally learn to surrender my life reluctantly. It also gives respite, thinking one burden is gone. May be, since I no longer bear the burden of my life, my ownership may be reinstated once He realizes it.
Life is really beautiful in darkness. Both tears and laughter make your world really beautiful. It is made more beautiful particularly when your life is distinct since nobody knows what you are going through. Sometimes the pain is so big that its disappearance is measured not in terms of days or weeks but in terms of years. Today after five years, her words, “Everybody comes across love at some or the other point of their life. It is not only you who experiences it,” still deafen my ears, louder and clearer. For a while she used to say we will meet again, but I always told her the world is not round at least between you and me. And it’s right, we haven't meet after that night again. As I strongly believe that I won’t see her again, I also can confidently say that even after another five years, the sound of her words will not lower. She was itself a ray that brightens my life. But how could she know that she I have dissolved myself in the beauty of this her glittering darkness? I always told her “The world is so big. How hard you try, you will not be able to understand everything.” Today also, there are many things happening in my life around her thoughts when I don’t even know that where she is. Like every ray of light, she brought brightness in my life, but when the light disappears as truth prevails at the end; my whole life has been dissolved in the darkness she brought to me.
I was a happy-go-easy boy armored by lively hopes and many things that I wanted though I had nothing. Every pain and tear was temporary and I never bothered them since I had them to be consoled. Life was really beautiful. How could I see through the ugliness of life when I was always happy? Hardly anyone cares for other, as I care for none. In fact, it was the time I didn’t even care for myself. It is true people tend to forget everything in happiness which itself is a state of emptiness where we can feel nothing. It was perhaps the time I was boasting about my love. When anybody has a beautiful and committed lover like mine, their state of happiness extended outside naturally which others falsely consider as boasting. It was when Susan told me, “Everybody comes across love at some or the other point of their life. It is not only you who experiences it,” I suddenly realized that I had exceeded and caused irritation to others. But I didn’t regret since she was nothing unnatural, and misunderstanding is the most precious gift to human beings which they flaunt from time to time. She could not feel what was inside me. Thus, her remarks submerged without making any ripples. I neither felt apologetic nor regretted since she did not occupy any important place in my heart. To me, it is heart and only the heart that matters. Only the emotions engulfed from the heart guide my life.
Life itself is a bunch of riddles and uncertain mental adventures. To somebody, you give attention you ever could though you are just a stranger to them. To some, you always try to get closer when your presence is neither recognized nor appreciated. Welcome is an indecent word to use here. Everything is happening around her; only she does not feel any. Such things had happened to me also. There were times when Susan was rather elated being with my company. She, sometimes, did not go for lunch along with her friends but instead stayed behind to give me a company. On the very first day of our meeting, I could see the excitement in her eyes when she was with me. Thanks to my ability to read other’s eyes. Sometimes, I warned myself for being an expert in reading eyes. I hate it because it discloses everything somebody values so much in their heart. I fear that someday, it will put me in real trouble. Though I was drowning in the thought of somebody, leaving no room for Susan to encroach beyond friendship, it will be unfair if I don’t concede that I also started liking her company. Call it a coincidence in life or the plan of destiny; I fell in love only with beautiful girls. May be I was so much drown with my love or partly because of not-so-beautiful looks of Susan, there were never mental conflicts and sleep-lost nights.
Time passed by, and our friendship or relationship blossomed or developed. I started learning new lessons of nature. I never thought that my meeting with Susan during that one-month long seminar will teach me a life-long lesson. I suddenly discover that all the charming beauties of the spring season were once remained dry and dead in winter. When spring comes, everything becomes beautiful. Who could believe that the delicate roses were only thorns before they steal beholders’ hearts? Sometimes, somewhere I started missing her. I fear that I developed an infatuation for Susan. But, I believe in my self-control ability. Time has taken a U-turn, partly because of my impatience. I had started waiting her instead of she waited for me. It might be because I came out earlier than the time she came out to wait for you. It takes 365 days for the Earth to revolve around the Sun. May be I valued my time so much that things started suddenly as one month was all we had at hand. But when things started, twenty days were gone already. Somewhere in this uncertain and dark journey of life, I realized that I had developed a strange feeling for Susan. One day, I looked at her eyes to see again the excitement reflected in her eyes on our first meeting or during those new days in our life. Everything has its own time and they just follow when their turns come. Who can get away from the cycle of the nature? When there is spring here, unfortunately there is autumn also somewhere. That day, I found a difference in her eyes. Her eyes were really beautiful but the beauty had replaced their excitement that I saw last time. But the beauty of a thing is appreciated only by the beholders, and the thing has nothing to with them. Who could imagine that there will be a sudden onset of autumn in the middle of the spring? It was possible, possibly because, things were happening at such a fast pace that even the God of nature could not see the disorder in the cycles of nature. That day, my fear is over and my mastery of eyes reading paid off. When somebody realizes that he develops an infatuation of somebody, there is always a problem arising somewhere. But, I don’t condemn this because I always consider nothing can be as precious as love, and it is never easy to achieve it. As time passed by with various thoughts, I realized that all I had at hand was only one week. After that, our one month conference will be over. I wish I could hold time. By then, I had completely lost my identity- Who was I? Where did I belong?
That night was over last day together. Early next morning, everybody will return to their home. As usual, Susan and I came to sit in the garden after dinner. Once I had developed love of her, each evening we sat on the garden meant a lot to me. But that day, it was more valuable and I am sure she could see through what was in my heart if she were good or least good at reading eyes like me. That day, with one last hope to see that excitement in her eyes, I looked at her again. To my surprise, there were in front of me. I saw the same excitement that I saw on the first day, but I could also see emotions in her eyes at that starry night. It might be because she also knew, as I did, that we will not meet again. Everybody develops emotions when they are leaving somebody for long, so if they leave somebody forever, definitely even for the person who does not mean anything to them will generate some emotions if they are not just strangers. That night, she listened to my story very anxiously. I didn’t know why I told the story of my hard childhood, broken love, and misfortunes to her. Was she listening anxiously like that since it was a sad story? “In life, we don’t get everything that we like. So, it is best to let this life take us wherever it wants to brings us,” Susan said after listening to my story. It was her last word I heard. I don’t like the idea to surrender my life to somebody like this, especially it makes very hard to a person like me who does not believe in reincarnation. But when for everything I do, destiny has the other plan, I finally learn to surrender my life reluctantly. It also gives respite, thinking one burden is gone. May be, since I no longer bear the burden of my life, my ownership may be reinstated once He realizes it.
Life is really beautiful in darkness. Both tears and laughter make your world really beautiful. It is made more beautiful particularly when your life is distinct since nobody knows what you are going through. Sometimes the pain is so big that its disappearance is measured not in terms of days or weeks but in terms of years. Today after five years, her words, “Everybody comes across love at some or the other point of their life. It is not only you who experiences it,” still deafen my ears, louder and clearer. For a while she used to say we will meet again, but I always told her the world is not round at least between you and me. And it’s right, we haven't meet after that night again. As I strongly believe that I won’t see her again, I also can confidently say that even after another five years, the sound of her words will not lower. She was itself a ray that brightens my life. But how could she know that she I have dissolved myself in the beauty of this her glittering darkness? I always told her “The world is so big. How hard you try, you will not be able to understand everything.” Today also, there are many things happening in my life around her thoughts when I don’t even know that where she is. Like every ray of light, she brought brightness in my life, but when the light disappears as truth prevails at the end; my whole life has been dissolved in the darkness she brought to me.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Things that the United States has to learn from Pakistan and Iran
Pakistan has been under gruesome turmoil for years since General Musharraf staged military coup in the country, and 2007 was the worst year with maximum suicide attacks, bombings, and casualties including the former prime minister. There has been hunger for democracy since then. Benazir Bhutto was the last hope to restore democracy, and also the only hope for the US to make power sharing with its ally Mushaffaf at the backstage. The assassination of Bhutto is the loss of hope not only for the people of Pakistan but also for the US. There is a cloud of suspicion and hidden hands of intelligence services in the assassination of Benazir Bhutto, and the Musharraf’s government changing statement from time to time about the killing has only intensified suspicion. However, as usual, President Musharraf will come out from this controversy also as he has his hand-picked men starting from the Chief Justice to the General. It is not a secret that Pervez Musharraf has been benefiting thousands and millions of dollars from the US. The recent US intelligence reports have found that the billions of dollars the US has been pouring to Pakistan for fighting terrorism have been wrongly used. Instead of financing to fight against the Taliban and Al-Qaeda, Pakistan is using this money to consolidate its weaponry to keep at par with its arch-enemy India. With Pakistan backsliding both in the fighting of terrorism and restoring democracy in military strife country, the US is considering to reevaluate its foreign policy in that country. It is time for the US to learn that even billions of dollars is not worthy to make (or buy) a good friend and ally who can guarantee the security of the country. Now, the question is how long the US will support the country that is discredited in every count, and pressurized by both internal and external forces.
On the other hand, on December 3, 2007, the US National Intelligence Estimate report cleared Iran the charge of pursuing nuclear weapon development program. The report disclosed that Iran had stopped pursuing the nuclear weapon program in 2003. The finding was a huge setback for the Bush administration because it was the only excuse for Bush to launch military operation in Iran. It was also the only hope for President George Bush to regain the loss of public faith over Iraq where no nuclear weapon was found after the invasion. Iranian President Mahmoud Abbas welcome the US report and described the finding as a victory for Iran. However, President Bush was still adamant and reluctant to admit the mistake, and continues to stick on his stubbornness – Iran was a danger to its own people and the world, and it is still a danger and will remain a danger. Charging a country as engaging in nuclear program has become a new technique for the US to conduct military operation in that country. Unlike its other defense strategies, this technique failed from the very onset making George Bush the most discredited and untrusting president in the history of the US. The Iraq and Iran experiences are enough to retreat from launching military operation in other countries with an excuse of finding nuclear weapons.
On the other hand, on December 3, 2007, the US National Intelligence Estimate report cleared Iran the charge of pursuing nuclear weapon development program. The report disclosed that Iran had stopped pursuing the nuclear weapon program in 2003. The finding was a huge setback for the Bush administration because it was the only excuse for Bush to launch military operation in Iran. It was also the only hope for President George Bush to regain the loss of public faith over Iraq where no nuclear weapon was found after the invasion. Iranian President Mahmoud Abbas welcome the US report and described the finding as a victory for Iran. However, President Bush was still adamant and reluctant to admit the mistake, and continues to stick on his stubbornness – Iran was a danger to its own people and the world, and it is still a danger and will remain a danger. Charging a country as engaging in nuclear program has become a new technique for the US to conduct military operation in that country. Unlike its other defense strategies, this technique failed from the very onset making George Bush the most discredited and untrusting president in the history of the US. The Iraq and Iran experiences are enough to retreat from launching military operation in other countries with an excuse of finding nuclear weapons.
Blockbuster - Baby on sale for Rs. 100
I came across a story of a woman peddling her newborn daughter at Rs. 100 in the front page of the Indian Express. The heading caught my attention at once- be its bizarreness or serious social disparity. The maternity ward in the Government Rajaji Hospital, Madurai in Tamil Nadu has become some kind of a theater running a blockbuster movie where there is a huge crowd and long queue to get tickets for the show. Crowds gather to see the strange saleswoman, Panju, who is selling her just-a-few-hours-ago-born daughter. She repeatedly keeps saying, “Take away my child and give me Rs. 100. How will I feed now and when she grows up? ” Dozens of people who gather to see the women are least concerned about the plight of the woman. Not even a single person among the crowd sheds sympathy by imagining how they will feel by selling their child. They just appear and disappear from the scene unconcerned and unbothered by the plight of the woman, but not before amusing her. Some good-hearted fellows give Panju advice and mental supports to help her bear the burden – become a domestic help. This is some advice that hardly affects Panju but it will affect beyond imagination to any normal humans. Such generous remarks and advice do not make any difference to dozens and hundreds of people like Panju whose ears are dampened by such sweet words they hear each new day from people they meet. Not even a single person among the crowd thinks of asking the plight of the woman. All they care is to experience the bizarre incident, but none realizes that bizarreness is the second step after tragedy. Panju actually tried to leave her child in the cradle at the hospital but the interception by a hospital’s watchman compelled her to take up this step. Situation is brought to somewhat normalcy when some women come for her rescue. Investigation has found that Panju’s husband passed away two months before from AIDS, and she also has HIV positive. Destiny led her to take up construction works in the seventh month of pregnancy. It is not known whether the new-born baby is also infected from the virus or not, and it will be known only after six weeks. When reality comes to the picture, the sea of crowds suddenly bears a devastated look. May be the audiences are too busy with their personnel works. For some, Panju’s story will make a nice dinner-time joke – selling a baby at Rs. 100. After few days or months, another heading – A woman consumed poison, kills daughter and self in Madurai- may fill the front paper of the same newspaper. By then, the same crowds who have gathered this morning in front of the hospital will not even remember that it is the same woman peddling her daughter. How can they remember her since they don’t even know the name of the saleswoman? It will be just another news of the day. We can’t even imagine of the separation of our dear ones, hence Panju’s selling her daughter turns out to be a great joke. When things are beyond the reach of our imagination, they become jokes. It is rather funny how the bridge between the rich and the destitute has been built naturally, and how two different species are made look-alike. We are also not wrong because we have the conscience to understand that these people are getting used to bear such pains. The world will wear a new look when our conscience discovers something new someday that people like Panju also have similar hopes or even bigger than ours.
The Beach
Beach never lacks visitors.
Be its generosity or indiscriminative nature,
It is the perfect host for everyone.
Everyone comes here with purposes.
Brothers, sisters, and friends are splashing water to each other.
Young boys are daring waves.
Loving couples are gently walking in water with arm to arm
With no worry for anything,
Some for forgetting the past pains and memories.
Some for building future pains.
Some are sitting silently donning silent viewers.
And somewhere, somebody is weeping for no reason
Wondering what fate and life conspire and take him towards.
The darkness and the generosity of the beach give him the warmest hospitality
To shed tears peacefully.
Be its generosity or indiscriminative nature,
It is the perfect host for everyone.
Everyone comes here with purposes.
Brothers, sisters, and friends are splashing water to each other.
Young boys are daring waves.
Loving couples are gently walking in water with arm to arm
With no worry for anything,
Some for forgetting the past pains and memories.
Some for building future pains.
Some are sitting silently donning silent viewers.
And somewhere, somebody is weeping for no reason
Wondering what fate and life conspire and take him towards.
The darkness and the generosity of the beach give him the warmest hospitality
To shed tears peacefully.
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